EXCELLENCE 101
By: Neil Andrew Chiu Llorente
The core of excellence is the flow of utmost passion that goes with it.
Such a statement was one of the few things I utterly refused to believe for many years. Driven by the idea that success could only be measured by one’s achievements, I have been one of those students who kept losing track of the true meaning of greatness. Blinded by the brilliance of fame, influence, and the stole of respect people bestow upon the shoulders of those with the most honors, I have pushed myself beyond the limits of my comfort zone for the feeble reason of being way on top of others.
Sad to say, it seems that my world only revolved around being the most multi-awarded figure at school. There was not a single day when a voice inside my head would not whisper the usual grab-and-take-everything-that-makes-you-great, a line that appeared to be quite difficult to erase from my mind. Like a damaged CD player, I taught myself to love the plaques, the medals, and the trophies over and over again for in those days, the crappy things about the so-called ‘real’ happiness, faith, and hope were light years away, a dim glow compared to the radiance of awards. When all those old people started talking about true joy and the blah blah blahs that go with it, I shut my ears and laugh at the outright stupidity these implied.
Perhaps, such line of thought could be traced to family background. You see, ever since I was a child, excellence has become part of our family culture. From my parents down to my youngest sibling, one cannot seem to do away with the desire to be on the top spot. In other words, every single thing I did was directed towards that vague future of achieving everything there is to achieve, of surpassing all obstacles man has ever known.
But as I reaped those that many a student would give anything to have, I began to notice this overwhelming sense of incompletion, an unusual emotion that dawned on me like the gradual rise of the sun. At first I thought that this was just a part of seeming to have everything, an aftermath of this thing people call ‘overachievement’. But then again, instead of being snuffed out by my winning in the United Nations Information Agency World Environment Day on-the-spot Essay Writing Contest, which is truly something I should be proud of, things grew worse.
I became more distraught and discontented. My thirst for something more turned into the hardest thing to satisfy. I felt lost, directionless, empty, hurt, and weary of life for it seemed that the very purpose of living became too obscured for me to grasp. I have suddenly realized that for the past sixteen years, I had not been living my own life but that of a pawn controlled by the burning desire to be on top. After a few weeks, I learned to accept that I was, though surrounded by all praises and honors, one of the unhappiest persons in the world.
I soon opened my eyes to the fact that I have indeed missed out a lot since I was literally drooling over awards. Believe it or not, I have even scrapped the word ‘fun’ out of my life’s dictionary (staying at home instead of hanging out with friends; burning the midnight candle for the exams instead of partying the night away).
The pain of knowing all these came in such a strong crash that I was abruptly pulled back to my senses. But never did I know that the next competition I joined, the National Schools Press Conference Editorial Writing Contest, would become a stepping stone to this sudden change.
Different from the usual tedious preparations I would normally make for tests, examinations, and contests, I took this competition quite lightly, more like a game, a challenge, unlike my typical preset notion of contests as venues where I HAD TO WIN. Instead of forcing myself to understand as many current issues as possible to get in touch with the political affairs of the country for the sake of winning, I began to focus my mind on the ‘present’, on the ‘NOW’, appreciating news articles and researches on the political arena of the Philippines simply because these were well-written selections and not because knowing them is an apparent pre-requisite to victory.
As Khalil Gibran wrote, “Work is love made visible”. I too have leaned to love what I was doing and direct my passion and all the energies that go with it not to turn silly visions of grabbing every trophy into reality but to manifest my greatest appreciation for writing and this is what excellence and passion are all about - learning to value your work and not the rewards that come with it.
Though I still managed to land first place in the NSPC Editorial Writing competition, I know longer felt so troubled and to my surprise, the beacon of contentment, which refused to be lit for many years, has gone so bright that a sense of light-heartedness enveloped my entire being and thus, I become a new man, a person who has taken hold of the vitality of passion and who had released the false importance mere awards portray.@
Neil Andrew Chiu Llorente is the Most Outstanding Secondary School Student of Iloilo for SY 2005-2006.
1 Sira, Liza Marie S. - Sta. Barbara Central Elementary School
